My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
