its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels