you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
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You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
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You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.