If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
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Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
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I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.