What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.