he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
