the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize