i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
