Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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