bring money and cleavage
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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