she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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