I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
