I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
