You're completely useless in the revolution.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
