OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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