Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
