if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
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I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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