What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
