Have you finally orgasmed yet?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
