in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
