So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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