yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
now i know why i became what i already was.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
