Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
