i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Randomize
