So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
