Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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