also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
false alarm, still single
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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