just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
