In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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