I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
