Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
