So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
