In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
