I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
