remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
