Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
