i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
