i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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