is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
