i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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