Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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