i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize