Having a random hookup so left but love u
North Korea, Best Korea!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
