I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
