I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
