wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
