I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Oh god it's open bar.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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