Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
