I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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