her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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