haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
