Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
