first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
high people should be assigned attendants
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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