she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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