I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
