I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
