so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
