wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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